even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
