Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
