Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
