There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize