Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
