You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize