Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
