Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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