"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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