So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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