carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
