We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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