apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
