now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
