last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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