..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We left the knife in your bed.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
