My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize