I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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