I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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