I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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