I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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