i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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