If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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