he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
