Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
