And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
