I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
