idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
