I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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