Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
