His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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