Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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