You work out of a Hotel?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
