i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
