I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
