dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
