As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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