He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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