Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
