He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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