I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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