wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
