You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
