dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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