Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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