operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
