This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize