I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
