The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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