i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
