I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
