Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
where are my eyebrows?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
