I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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