Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
