Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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