can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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