why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
