I'm so fucking centered right now
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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