I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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