It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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