She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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