how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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