3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
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Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
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Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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