i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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