this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
