I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
