did you get engaged???
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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