Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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