I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Mom said you looked used
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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