I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
